Changing Your Skillset

This was originally going to be a much more serious note but given the theme of this blog, I had other thoughts on how to make this a bit more interesting.

Imagine having a loadout in Call of Duty that you feel good about but are still getting stomped in matches. Imagine having a Wizard with great skills but you don't quite cut it on higher difficulties. You tried so hard and geared up so well for the occasion just to realize the game is set to have certain classes be better than you by default. No matter what you do, the results are fixed. Someone could walk in brand new one of the pre-determined "good classes" and do better than you by putting in less work. Such is the fate or either a unbalanced game, or the need to buff the classes that aren't as good -- that's the same thing, really. Point being, if you have no control over your situation that is already decided for you, there is no moving forward.

There should always be a desire in one's life to move forward. Going backwards is a downgrade. You always want to do better for yourself. I found myself in a position upon moving which put me in a bind. I had to pinch pennies more than ever. I put myself in debt to move but it had to be done. Well, not quite in debt but I did spend more than I anticipated. I did this thinking I could recover my losses quickly. I made just enough for two months to cover rent, necessary bills, and some groceries. That's all. There wasn't much room for buying what I wanted or treating myself to fancy dinner wherever I wanted. Even more important, if a bill I forgot about came up that needed to be paid, I'd go against money I had saved in a separate bank account. Always have a "plan B" people. A plan C and D doesn't hurt either.

Month three (this month) has been different. I should see better results but all it will do is accomplish paying back on losses I should have recovered from the very next month after moving. With no sign of improvement and more than enough time to think, I decided it was time to step up again. I searched for jobs like crazy during these months. When I wasn't at work, I was lining up interviews in juggling VGHC/MachinaeTribe and MAYBE running a stream or having me time. There would usually only be time for one of those in a day. It's been stressful.

Much like the move from Call of Duty to Titanfall, the choice to leave my current job was a no brainer. The shift felt natural and not forced. If I wanted to dispose of a camper, I could ACTUALLY DO SO with ease. If you run into a camper in Call of Duty that knows the maps inside and out, they find that special spot and are untouchable for the whole match. I think Advanced Warfare MAY fix this problem but how many times do you have to put up with being promised one thing, just to be disappointed later on when said promise was never addressed? When you hear the same excuses year after year, you become the game series that cried wolf. This was the case where I was and I started to feel like less of a employee and more like a cog in the wheel.

To be fair, I made it very clear to my manager that this place has helped me tremendously as a person and financially. I like him versus all the other managers in the building including my previous one. This is not to knock my starting manager however as he was my start with the company and he is good at what he does. Sales is really something that surprised me that I was good at. Is it where I fit? Perhaps not...but I'm good at it apparently. If I can be recognized for what I actually do then I'm willing to take a chance with something new. My new job is a chance for both opportunity and advancement. I know lots of this may sound vague but I am trying to paint the picture to where people can understand. On the flip side, because I like to hold a sense of professionalism, I will not be going into explicit detail about why the leave was necessary.

I didn't want to continue to be in the "boat without a paddle" scenario, so I am doing what I can to not sink. Soon I will have my paddle and can get back on track again. The funny thing about this now finally changing for me is that I'm starting to have some improvement in other life aspects as well. Here are some examples of things I have in motion:

- Possible rotation of site content/Twitch streams for VGHC
- Increasing the MachinaeMondays staff (soon)
- Plans discussed for a future Machinae Supremacy podcast
- Started writing for Machriders and Another Castle
- Finally fixed up some things that I hadn't in the past three months of living in my apartment

I'm in a mode right now where change is a good thing. With change last year, great things came my way. What I needed to realize is this...I've got things to offer to this world. Anyone that doesn't appreciate what I do have to offer, I can simply wish them a good day, and move on to someone else and/or a place that will appreciate me. There's no better feeling than being appreciated in life but for the several times when you are not (rejection happens -- #dealwithit) said feeling must not be a crutch you rely on. Sorry my precious Wizard, we've had good times, but clearly I need to become a Witch Doctor to be good. Maybe somewhere down the line I can be creative, think outside the box, and not be restricted in my ways. I see the bigger picture and I think I will move up to just that. #ToTheFuture

(Yes I used two hashtags in this post)

UPDATE: I've also since this posting played Diablo III patch 2.1.0 which seems to have made other classes than the "pre-determined" classes a bit more viable. But to make my point even more clear after playing D3 with the update, it's become clear that work would never receive a patch update.